.png "Untitled design (39)")
When trying to conceive it can seem like a lot of fun initially, but for some it can take months and even years to get pregnant. This can stop the sizzle of intimacy in couples lives because trying to conceive can become a scheduled and timed out act instead of spontaneous and in the moment.
Intimacy in relationships is an exploration of each other. It’s meant to be exciting and passionate. But, when sex becomes more of a planned 'to-do' it can dim that passion.
I want to start off and say it is 100% normal to experience this. Trying to conceive (TTC) can be frustrating and cause stress in relationships, but I want to help you turn that frustration into excitement again!
Don’t make sex a scheduled thing
Ovulation is a timed thing. You have a small window of opportunity and for those trying to conceive, that window can make or break the ability to get pregnant.
When you are tracking your ovulation and you see your window coming up you immediately go to your partner and try to initiate intimacy.
You put your partner on the clock and expect them to be ready as soon as possible. This puts a lot of pressure on the partner and dims the spark between the two of you in that moment.
During your fertile window try to find ways to cultivate desire. Find ways to peak your partner's imagination that will lead to that desire. You want to keep intimacy enjoyable for both of you. This journey is about a connection between the two of you, working together towards a beautiful goal.
Go on more dates with your partner
When you live with your partner you both get into a routine. You go to work, make dinner, and head off to bed soon after. You both are exhausted from the work day and even on the weekend you find yourself relaxing at home to prepare for the new week.
We have so much going on in our lives it makes it difficult to go on dates anymore, but I want to help you fix that!
Here are some suggestions for simple date nights you can do at home.
Some ideas include: Game nights on the weekends, movie nights at your local theater or at home, cook a meal together and eat by candle light, lay out by the pool or sit on the patio together and enjoy your favorite beverage.
There are so many ways you can plan time together out of your normal routine. Keep it simple and stick to your interests.
Spend time by yourself
Remember to always take time for yourself and allow time for self-care to rejuvenate you. You spend time together everyday. When you were dating you remember that excitement you felt when it was time to meet up with them again. The anticipation to see them again?
Find time to enjoy the things you love together and also alone. This helps you grow as an individual and a couple.
Find fun games to play together (yes, even in the bedroom)
Make it fun and play some games together. There are so many fun games, items and ideas to boost your intimacy. Don’t forget to engage and flirt with each other, after all that’s probably one of the things that brought you together in the first place.
Find what works for both of you, that you are both comfortable doing.
Talk it out without judgment
Communication is the key to any relationship and is essential in your fertility journey. Trying to conceive can be overwhelming and frustrating for both partners. Opening up a clear line of communication between you will lower stressors while also improving intimacy.
It is hard to ignore the strict time frame you are on when in your fertile window. So, while you want to try and schedule intimacy in that window, it is how you go about doing it that can make a difference.
Connect with each other, build anticipation, communicate and experiment. TTC can be fun for both of you and intimacy can feel less of a chore and more pleasurable.
xxo Katie